Based on attachment theory (ECR-R)
How You Connect
How you tend to respond to closeness, conflict, and emotional needs.
Overview
Attachment theory describes how our early experiences with caregivers shape patterns of closeness, trust, and emotional regulation that persist into adulthood. The Experiences in Close Relationships – Revised (ECR-R) is the most widely used and scientifically validated measure of adult attachment, assessing two core dimensions: anxiety (concern about being valued and available) and avoidance (preference for independence over closeness).
Why we chose this perspective
Unlike type-based personality frameworks, attachment theory has decades of rigorous research behind it — over 10,000 published studies. It directly predicts how people communicate in close relationships: how they handle conflict, respond to emotional needs, seek or avoid reassurance, and repair after disconnection. For a tool focused on communication intelligence, no framework is more directly relevant.
What you will learn
Your scores on two dimensions — Connection Anxiety and Self-Reliance (Avoidance) — and which of four attachment patterns you lean toward: Secure, Preoccupied, Dismissing, or Fearful. Each pattern describes a distinct way of moving toward or away from closeness when things get difficult.
Dimensions measured
Secure
Comfortable with both closeness and independence. You can give and receive support, and you tend to communicate directly under stress.
Preoccupied
You care deeply about connection and can feel anxious when it's uncertain. You bring warmth and attentiveness, and thrive with consistency.
Dismissing
You value independence and handle things on your own. You're steady under pressure and give others room, but may pull back when emotions intensify.
Fearful
You want connection but also protect yourself. You're attuned and careful about who you let in, and can feel torn between closeness and space.
How it works
This assessment uses ECR-R-inspired items rated on a 5-point Likert scale. Items measure two dimensions — attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance. Your scores are converted to percentages and combined to determine which of four attachment patterns you most closely align with. The ECR-R was developed using item response theory and has been validated in hundreds of studies across cultures.
Scientific validity
The ECR-R has strong scientific support with high test-retest reliability and extensive predictive validity for relationship satisfaction, communication patterns, conflict resolution, and emotional regulation. It is the most widely used and cited measure of adult attachment in academic psychology.
Source
Based on the Experiences in Close Relationships – Revised (ECR-R). Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000).
http://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/measures/ecrr.htmReferences
- 1.Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000). An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(1), 117–132.
- 2.Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment (2nd ed.). Basic Books.
- 3.Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.